Image is Nothing
by Silver Miko
Summary: Nobody knows. They all believed it was via the Dark Gate that the Black Moon got into the past. But not the first time...it was my fault. I failed as Time Guardian. Drug induced,seduced, but his eyes...those lonely blue eyes.


Author's Notes: I felt like doing something odd. Might be part of a future project. We'll see. RK rules my writing right now.  
I want a liscence plate that says OMG-WTF XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXX

Image is Nothing (Lobsters are Everything)  
by Silver Miko

(my fandom...is a Japanese schoolgirl)

Noboby knows, nobody saw it...the subtle shift in the winds, the shadow that would pass over my features momentarily and briefly before I plastered my usual placid expression onto my face. No one saw it in these ancient eyes. But I am so used to withholding things, keeping silent about events that shall pass, that it's no wonder nothing was sensed. I don't even think the Princess knew...and if she noticed anything she wasn't saying.  
I still cannot fathom what robbed me of my wits, how I let it happen. I was trained for so long, taught so many things, know things the senshi will never know and will never remember...it is my burden, my duty, my honor, my destiny. I at the same time always found myself with dual feelings of my fate.  
I hated that I was destined for lonliness, to be an outsider, to carry these burdens. I felt blessed to be chosen, honored at this duty, grateful to serve the most shining star ever born. She is my reason for everything, the reason I endure, they are why I carry on here in the misty darkness of the Time Gate. And the importance, the sheer importance of my role as Time Guardian.  
No one could ever fathom what it is to be me.  
And I've had millennia to come to terms with what and who I am. But now I am losing myself in thoughts. Perhaps it was this destiny, the burden that was the weak flaw, the broken link in the strong chain of my being.  
It was so subtle, and yet blatant. I should have known, I did know.  
I could say it was chemical, a compound that induced it.  
Maybe it was a catalyst that triggered the deep abyss of lonliness I kept hidden in my heart.  
The Black Moon family. No one ever wondered how they slipped into the past, it was assumed to be the work of the Dark Gate.  
The Dark Gate was their means when Demando and Black Lady slipped into the past.  
The first time, was my fault.  
His eyes fooled me, or maybe there was a genuine longing and lonliness in them that was conflicted with his assignment. I should have been more cautious...but for a moment I believed in those eyes.  
Those sad, lonely blue eyes.  
His skin was so pale against the dark navy of his uniform, his dark blue hair almost wild. His face was almost sullen, as he approached me, and he did not waver as I pressed the Garnet Rod against his throat.  
"This area is forbidden. Those who tresspass shall be punished!" I called out, the words burned into my memory.  
He looked at me with those eyes, that look of hopelessness.  
He stepped to the side, fast...came behind and grabbed my wrists. Normally that would not hold if not for the sudden press of lips against mine...a liquid filling my mouth...warm...almost burning.  
My head began swimming, feeling fuzzy and my blood felt like it was boiling. His fingers against my skin both ached and soothed.  
Before I lost my senses, my wits quickly screamed at what happened.  
He drugged me...safframate. A small seed or two acted a subtle aphrodisiac...but many seeds ground into a powder would drive a person mad with longing and desire, and they would be so hypersensitive that all they cared about was relief...but it would never come. No matter how many carnal encounters, the pain would only magnify as no release would be made.  
I managed to whisper my question...important...an answer I needed to get through it.  
"How potent?" I croaked.  
"Just enough for my purposes, not enough to pain you too much." he murmured, his voice deep...almost detached.  
It was a mission to him, from his tone not one he chose, this did not give him perverse excitement. I deduced rather quickly the mission, holding back tears of frustration.  
This agent of the Black Moon was sent to drug me, seduce and fornicate with me. I would be so lost in sexual madness that I would not notice until too late that he would have taken one of my keys...I would be left with the weight of what happened.  
I knew all this, and yet it was already too light. The cool lips against my neck were driving me mad, and I struggled to keep hold of the Garnet Rod in my hand. He was everywhere but not enough, hands, fingers, lips. I was struggling to maintain control...but I was falling fast. I didn't notice when my back met the misty ground, but I still clutched the Garnet Rod. I could not let of it...I had to hang on.  
I could feel wind against my bare skin now, but I would not cry. How foolish to let this happen...I should have faught harder...but my mind was warping and I was always so lonely...never knowing the intimate touch of a man.  
He wasn't rough...rather gentle. Trying to accomodate me. A realization struck me hazily...he did not want this either. He did not want to be doing this, but it was his orders. And I knew it was from Demando's lips that this order came. And this man followed, out of loyalty for his Prince...for his brother.  
He was as much a victim really as I was. It happened then, and I should have never let that breathy sigh escape my lips. I should have stayed passive.  
"Sapphire"  
He lifted his head, looked into my eyes. Blue to red. Such lonliness...so many burdens.  
His face wavered, sorrow on his face momentarily.  
"I'm sorry." he whispered, brushing lips against mine in a tender kiss as he took me then completely...I was so lost by then in the drug that I did not feel the pain. I only felt the shifting of hips, skin burning against skin, and then I could not think at all. I couldn't even tell if I received any pleasure as it ended.  
All I remember after was my eyes drooping and my hands unclenching from the Garnet Rod...and he was standing over me with one of my keys in hand.  
I had failed at my duty.  
I woke up with the memory of it, but it was more like the feeling of something I had read. I could not exactly remember the feeling of it all, just of what occured.  
I cried then, something I had not done in decades. I had compromised everything, I let the enemy into my realm, I lost...my key, my honor, my pride, my mind.  
My Queen was gone though, locked in stone...and thus I had to report to the King...but...I could not. So much had happened. Our beloved Serenity locked away in deep sleep, his body being injured. No, my admiration and respect for the King could not.  
I could not let them know I failed.  
I must alone atone and carry the burden.  
They never knew...and it didn't matter for the Black Moon was destroyed. The senshi of the past triumphed, my Queen triumphed.  
That man was gone...Sapphire.  
But he had left his mark upon me...more than that.  
And now it is time I confessed to my Queen...received my judgment...atoned.  
I must for my pride, and for the small innocent star of hope that has come from it...hope that had those deep blue eyes of the man I could never forget.  
Ayashi...the child born of lonliness and sorrow.  
Only my Queen knows of her existence, she is simply considered by others an orhpan of war. The senshi look after her unknowing she is my child. She knows who I am, not that I am Sailor Pluto, or Meiou Setsuna, but that I am 'mommy'. I see her as often as permitted...such a short time. To the world her father is dead. Prince Sapphire who died, killed by the Wiseman. But that is not entirely true. Oh yes, Wiseman struck him, indeed he was going to die...Demando was careless as he passed through the Gates...he came to my Realm.  
He simply assumed Sapphire faded away there, to an afterlife.  
No. I took him, took the close to dead prince and placed him in a crystal coffin where he sleeps...remains sleeping. Not dead, not alive. He is between life and death, simply still.  
He exists out of time now, as I do.  
Two creatures of lonliness and sorrow...together in the misty darkness. Perhaps I pitied him, even after what he had done.  
Or maybe it eased my lonliness.  
No one knows he's here. No one ever will. He is my secret, my burden.  
Maybe I am insane...I don't even know if he will remain sleeping. Always a chance he'll awaken. It has been years...and nothing. No movement.  
Sapphire...my secret...know will ever know. 


End file.
